if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
