so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
