He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
