How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
dude. I can hear the air.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
