it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
