so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
