Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
