is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You ate ashes out of my bong
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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