Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
