dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
