That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
