her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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