She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
