so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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