Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
