I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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