I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sarcasm needs its own font
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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