The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
