He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
