u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
