You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
