I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
