I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
