In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
