I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
