thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
