I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
