There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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