I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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