I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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