Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
