she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know her cup size but not her name....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
