Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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