i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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