can u get pink eye on your cock?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
