I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
