dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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