And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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