forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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