I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
