He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
