Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
