It's like God shit irony all over that family
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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