I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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