you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
