yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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