Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
