So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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