when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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