i don't like sucking hair
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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