lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
